Read this from Cat Ipsum
Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, make plans to dominate world and then take a nap has closed eyes but still sees you or car rides are evil so that box? i can fit in that box. Ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside Gate keepers of hell love you, then bite you be superior, but lick human with sandpaper tongue that box? i can fit in that box but roll on the floor purring your whiskers off. Jump on fridge avoid the new toy and just play with the box it came in bite plants.
Eat the rubberband. Sweet beast cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dog and kitty kitty pussy cat doll sit and stare. Push your water glass on the floor you have cat to be kitten me right meow and sit and stare. If it fits, i sits meeeeouw. Disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now so my left donut is missing, as is my right murder hooman toes run up and down stairs for pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box but cattt catt cattty cat being a cat.
Eats owners hair then claws head climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes
Rub against owner because nose is wet human give me attention meow meow. I rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard walk on a keyboard. Slap the dog because cats rule love tuxedo cats always looking dapper human is behind a closed door, emergency! abandoned! meeooowwww!!!, all of a sudden cat goes crazy, and cats are a queer kind of folk. Scream at teh bath. Go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food meow sleep all day whilst slave is at work, play all night whilst slave is sleeping so love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) and poop in the plant pot stare at ceiling light.
Attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night i love cats i am one wake up scratch humans leg for food then purr then i have a and relax love you, then bite you and why must they do that. Behind the couch push your water glass on the floor fall asleep upside-down and play time. Russian blue allways wanting food but making bread on the bathrobe, for leave hair on owner’s clothes but put butt in owner’s face. While happily ignoring when being called tweeting a baseball attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently and i like big cats and i can not lie growl at dogs in my sleep fall asleep on the washing machine. Spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole hell is other people eat fish on floor.